Wow. I can not begin to express the thoughts and feelings I've had this past week since the passing of my aunt on Tuesday morning. My mind has been a whirlwind and my heart has been a literal drum pounding against my chest for hours on end. All the plans I had for the week, which were daunting at best, seem like nothing compared to the last few days. I have been amazed at how much my aunt influenced the lives of her students and it leaves me with a sense of longing to carry on her legacy with them. I feel an urging, a strange desire, to be close to the kids who loved her so dearly. I see their faces etched in my mind as tears pour from their eyes, their hearts silently breaking from the loss of their mentor, their teacher, their mom, their friend. I feel the need to stay close to them: the soccer team who are dedicating every game this year to her, the young man who silently walked up to me and hugged me...he couldn't even speak, the other who came to tell me all she meant to him, the girls and their mom who found her, and many more. Their faces are a constant in mind. I can't seem to let them go.
I spent almost two days in her old school. As I walked in the front door on Thursday afternoon and walked toward the office, my eyes centered on the bulletin board. A big picture of my aunt was right there in the middle encircled by the words We Miss You Ms. O'Donnell. As if that weren't enought, both kids and adults in the school had written their goodbyes all over the board. "You were the best teacher to ever roam these halls.......You will never be forgotten.......Thanks for always being there for me...." Friday I returned to the school alone to take pictures of the board. They sent me to the auditorium to see the star they'd made for her as well. The kids were having a talent show that afternoon and the seniors had decided to dedicate the show to her. They made a large star out of paper and placed her picture in the middle. On the star in sparkly letters was written, "You are our shooting star, Ms. O'Donnell."
As I was leaving, the halls were filling as students filed into the auditorium to see the show. I met the soccer coach just before I left, and he expressed his condolences and how much Aunt Sherry meant to the guys on his team. She had gone to every game and cheered them on even on the cold nights. She was always there and they wanted to present a game ball to someone in the family. I was there and they weren't going to be able to attend the memorial that night because they had a game. So, I stayed. I silently went into the auditorium and tried to blend into the back wall as they began this show. I was nervous and a little uneasy about my situation and did not know what to expect. After about four acts, they called the soccer team up on stage. The coach introduced the players and then me. He told the kids there was someone very special here that he wanted them to meet..."Ms. O'Donnell's niece, Kristi." I honestly thought that most would meet me with indifference and was shocked as the place erupted and kids began shouting "We love Ms. O'Donnell!" at me as I walked down the aisle and up onto the stage. The soccer team stared at me as if they expected something of me, like maybe a hug or something miraculous. I honestly don't know but remember feeling at a loss that I couldn't be more or do more for them. Then as they presented me the ball he said, "We never got to thank Ms. O'Donnell for all she did for us, so let's go ahead and do that now." Once again, and even louder than before, the air exploded with shouts of adoration for my aunt. I can not tell you how that felt except that I am glad to have been able to experience it. I could see no faces and it all seemed a blur. Tears filled my eyes as honor and respect filled my heart. I thanked them for the ball and for loving my aunt the way they did. I am proud of her for making such an impact on the lives of others.
In one of her emails just two weeks ago, we had been discussing why we taught, she expressed that she wanted to leave this world a better place. She wanted to make a difference.
And that is what she did.
