Over the years I've come to realize that what most people mean when they say, "Let me know if there's anything I can do," what they really mean is "Let me know if there's anything I can do that I WANT to do and isn't too much trouble for me or take too much of my or my family's time." Or maybe it's that they really don't mean it at all it's just become the appropriate thing to say when things go wrong in the lives of our friends.
I can count on one hand the number of times people have actually followed through with this gesture. It's a tough one, I'll admit. But honestly, it's just as tough to break down and ask someone for help.
One situation actually made me laugh outloud. I had found out some really awful news earlier in the day and was going to be out of school the rest of the week. I needed to stay at school that evening and do sub plans and get things together but I couldn't get focused and was having trouble getting anything done. So I texted several friends, told them my delima, and asked if anyone could come hang with me while I worked. One person responded sayng they couldn't come up there because they were busy, they were sorry about the news, and to let them know if I needed anything. HA! That's crazy!
I honestly try not to hold that against them, but it's difficult to see that person as the close friend I had considered them before. She's a great person and I love her dearly, but she obviously missed the point of my message. However, there are those that get it right away. One person did show up that evening and I was able to finish my plans. I'm thankful for her and her willingness to be in a classroom late in the evening listening to me talk and helping with a few things here and there.
Truly the best friends are those who know you need help even before you ask. They can tell by talking to you that you need help. Or my favorite, they just show up with their sleeves rolled up and say, "Tell me where to start. " I've experienced a few of those kinds of friends in my life, but too few in my opinion.
Let's face it, we're all busy. So if you're too busy to "do anything", then don't say offer it. Someone might just take you up on it.
*Warning to self - remember these words as you're consoling those in need.
