After the birth of our daughter, we thought we'd wait a year or two and then have another baby. WRONG! Fertility specialist #1 said...you'll probably need invitro for the best chances of conceiving. Not for us. We didn't want to do anything that invasive or anything close to that. I firmly believed that if God wasn't blessing us with a baby, there was a reason. If it wasn't an easy fix, the last thing I wanted to be doing was placing a baby in my womb for Him. Fertility specialist #2 was taking his time evaluating us both carefully (which I greatly appreciate) and we just decided to let it ride. We basically believed that we would not be able to have any more children.
Honestly, it took me while to get over the fact that I couldn't have more children. I hated going to baby showers and I was secretely jealous anytime someone I knew became pregnant. As we began to get used to the idea that our family would be three and no more, adoption was something both Chad and I thought about, but just weren't ready to take any steps in that direction. I
Within the past year and a half I finally became okay with the idea that we would be just three. I was set in that and I firmly believed that I would raise one child and she would be okay without a brother or sister. The idea only continued to grow as I watched friends have to get this child in this place and the other in another. I would think, wow...life is going to be so nice only having to get kid around. I was truly beginning to enjoy all that I had. Jay was getting older, more independent. Life was good and only getting better.
Then, the next thing I know...I'm pregnant. WHAT?!? How could that be? That wasn't supposed to happen. You've got to be kidding. Sure enough, I was and still am today. I am 7 months pregnant with a child I never thought I'd have. It's funny because I then spent the next two months just trying to get used to the idea that we would no longer be a family of three, but four!
God's timing is great. Looking back, during the time we were trying to conceive, I know it was not the right time. I can see God's provision in giving us this blessing now rather than then. I am thankful for this baby and thankful that I'm having it now and even more thankful that God gave it to me prior to my 40th birthday. (I used to say, "I don't want to have that miracle baby when I'm 40.)
It wasn't supposed to happen like this, but I'm glad it did.
